Sunday, September 9, 2012

What Can I Say?

I am in a blog rut. 

The whole reason I started a "Mom Blog" is because I read Mom Blogs and comment.  I didn't want to be some creep without a blog that stalks moms, so I thought to be fair--I will write a blog.  I am funny as hell.  Surely, I will impress the other funny moms.

But it has been a fail.  I can't write funny. 

There are a few reasons.

I am too worried about offending people.  I think this explains why I really don't make new friends as an adult.  I have to stick with those I have known most of my life because they know me and aren't as likely to be offended and hate me as those who don't know me.  It isn't that I love people so much that I don't want to offend them.  Really, if you can't take a joke then you aren't my type of person.  It's the conflict I can't handle.  I have seen some very funny blogs where moms just use their true self to have fun, and they get hate mail.  I cannot handle it.  So maybe I am not worried about offending others--Maybe I am worried about ME being offended by people's comments.  I am a chicken shit.

There doesn't seem to be anything funny in my life at the moment.   If you are reading this, chances are you have read the 'other stuff' I have written about.  It ain't pretty.  It sure as hell ain't laughable.  Not yet anyway.  Maybe when she is happily married and with a career will I look back on this and laugh.  But right now, all I can think of is my niece and sister in law and the drug addicted life they lead.  They both have multiple children from multiple men and all of them are in foster homes or have been adopted.  They both have been arrested numerous times for things that women do when they are addicted to drugs.  I can't even type it.  But that stuff scares me!  They both were little girls that my husband and I saw grow up.  It is very real to us the horrors that can happen to a life.

I am still getting my feet wet.  I think it takes a while to find your voice for your audience.  I have been doing writing for academic papers and mental health blogs for so long now that I don't know how to write funny or write to an audience other than a professor or those looking for mental health info.  I have seen there are bloggers workshops and things like that to help a blogger develop his or her writing.  I am going to take advantage of this at one point.


I DO have an interesting life that is 'out of the ordinary'.

I live in an extremely liberal hippy town that I have a love/hate relationship with.  At the moment, I am in the hate phase.

I have a very analytical mind.

I homeschool my daughter.

I still haven't received my degree.

We have oodles of weird health issues.

I have a TEENAGER.

I have adorable animals.

AND I have PLENTY of material for making fun of myself.

So, later days Everyone.  I'll be in touch!!


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

My Mother Drives Me Nuts

 Not a very funny post:

I let my daughter spend the weekend camping with her.  BUT I have recently put up boundaries on things.  Boundaries on things with my mom and with my daughter.  My daughter had too much freedom and was hanging with the bad kids.  Mike had told me that I need to be more strict with her.  And I am .  And it is working.  She is much happier.  I developed a plan for my daughter to succeed.  It was necessary!  She is 13 and had to go to court last week for shoplifting.  If she gets in any more trouble, her shoplifting charge sticks with her.  My mom just vomits all over me and my family.  And I let her.  She thinks she is in charge of things in my life and my daughter’s life.

Soooo what happened was: My mom let my daughter drive her van through a tiny town where there are cops patrolling, dogs running loose, and a little event which drew in people and kids.  AND she let her stand on the back of her van while she was driving up a dirt mountain road.  AND she let her walk around town and hang out with these kids that I am keeping her from being around.  Nice huh?
Did I freak?  I tried not to.  I first found out about the driving and back of the van riding.  I was upset and said she cannot do that.  I said she can practice driving on dirt roads way out in the middle of nowhere with no cops around, but not in the middle of a small town.  Also, never can she ride on the back of a van like that.  That is teaching her it is ok to do with friends.  My mom and daughter protested.  They thought I was nuts.  My mom was like, “She needs to learn to drive.”  At 13?  Through a town?  They get their learner’s permit here at15.  There is time!!!  AND she is already in legal trouble.  We are teaching her she has to respect the laws or she will end up with legal troubles all of her life. 

I didn’t even freak out over my mom allowing her around town because I wasn’t aware of the people she was with.  I just said she is not allowed to do it because she is on restrictions and there is no need for her to be mosying around town looking for trouble.

But then, I found out what she did when she was in town.  It’s a long story and not like it was anything terrible.  But there is this one specific family I am keeping her from being around because they are manipulative gypsy types.  I thought they were nice and sweet until I realized it is to cover up for their stealing and other illegal activities.  I believe she picked up her bad behaviors from them.  My daughter was with this family during her hour around town.

So this is when I freaked out!  I called my mom to tell her what my daughter was doing when she was around town.  All my anger and rage over my hard work to protect and raise my daughter with no respect from my mom on the situation came out.  I felt like I am doing everything I can to provide what she needs and then my mom goes and says FUCK IT and does what she wants.  So I just rudely told her what she was doing, and reminded my mom that she CANNOT go around town.  I was also stern with my mom on the phone when she asked why my husband and I are fighting.  I told her I can’t talk about that stuff because I have no privacy and because she doesn’t need to know about all of her fights.

This tipped her over the edge.  She sent me a message on Facebook saying she knows I don’t want her advice but she is going to give it to me anyway because I need to listen to other people’s opinions.  She then went on to say she worries my daughter will run away and I will never see her again because I am being too strict.  I. Could. Not. Believe. It.  Is she serious?  What the hell kind of bullshit is that?
Let me first bitch over the good old, “I know you don’t want my advice but I am giving it to you anyway because you need to listen to other people’s opinions.”  I really feel there is no need for me to even explain how fucked up a statement like that is.  It is self explanatory, right?  Or am I just way off and absolutely crazy?  WHY push your advice on someone that you know is going to piss them off unless you want to piss them off?  Why do I NEED to listen to other people’s opinions?  I have been in therapy for four months to learn how to NOT worry about the opinions of others.

Now this mind fuck of her fearing my daughter will run away.  WHAT?  My daughter still sucks her fingers and has a blankie.  And she is going to run away so far that I never see her again?  What the hell kind of fear and manipulation tactic is that?  We live in the middle of nowhere.  Oh, let me guess.  She will hitchhike to Mexico because I don’t let her hang out with gypsies.  Come the fuck on!

I know what this is.  This is my mom wanting me to fear those boundaries I put up.  She is wanting me to question what I am doing so I can let her weasel her opinions and control back into my life.

Moms out there, what do you think about this?