Not a very funny post:
I let my daughter spend the weekend camping with her. BUT I have
recently put up boundaries on things. Boundaries on things with my mom
and with my daughter. My daughter had too much freedom and was hanging
with the bad kids. Mike had told me that I need to be more strict with
her. And I am . And it is working. She is much happier. I developed a
plan for my daughter to succeed. It was necessary! She is 13 and had
to go to court last week for shoplifting. If she gets in any more
trouble, her shoplifting charge sticks with her. My mom just vomits all
over me and my family. And I let her. She thinks she is in charge of
things in my life and my daughter’s life.
Soooo what happened was: My mom let my daughter drive her van through
a tiny town where there are cops patrolling, dogs running loose, and a
little event which drew in people and kids. AND she let her stand on
the back of her van while she was driving up a dirt mountain road. AND
she let her walk around town and hang out with these kids that I am
keeping her from being around. Nice huh?
Did I freak? I tried not to. I first found out about the driving
and back of the van riding. I was upset and said she cannot do that. I
said she can practice driving on dirt roads way out in the middle of
nowhere with no cops around, but not in the middle of a small town.
Also, never can she ride on the back of a van like that. That is
teaching her it is ok to do with friends. My mom and daughter
protested. They thought I was nuts. My mom was like, “She needs to
learn to drive.” At 13? Through a town? They get their learner’s
permit here at15. There is time!!! AND she is already in legal
trouble. We are teaching her she has to respect the laws or she will
end up with legal troubles all of her life.
I didn’t even freak out
over my mom allowing her around town because I wasn’t aware of the
people she was with. I just said she is not allowed to do it because
she is on restrictions and there is no need for her to be mosying around
town looking for trouble.
But then, I found out what she did when she was in town. It’s a long
story and not like it was anything terrible. But there is this one
specific family I am keeping her from being around because they are
manipulative gypsy types. I thought they were nice and sweet until I
realized it is to cover up for their stealing and other illegal
activities. I believe she picked up her bad behaviors from them. My
daughter was with this family during her hour around town.
So this is when I freaked out! I called my mom to tell her what my
daughter was doing when she was around town. All my anger and rage over
my hard work to protect and raise my daughter with no respect from my
mom on the situation came out. I felt like I am doing everything I can
to provide what she needs and then my mom goes and says FUCK IT and does
what she wants. So I just rudely told her what she was doing, and
reminded my mom that she CANNOT go around town. I was also stern with
my mom on the phone when she asked why my husband and I are fighting. I
told her I can’t talk about that stuff because I have no privacy and
because she doesn’t need to know about all of her fights.
This tipped her over the edge. She sent me a message on Facebook
saying she knows I don’t want her advice but she is going to give it to
me anyway because I need to listen to other people’s opinions. She then
went on to say she worries my daughter will run away and I will never
see her again because I am being too strict. I. Could. Not. Believe.
It. Is she serious? What the hell kind of bullshit is that?
Let me first bitch over the good old, “I know you don’t want my
advice but I am giving it to you anyway because you need to listen to
other people’s opinions.” I really feel there is no need for me to even
explain how fucked up a statement like that is. It is self
explanatory, right? Or am I just way off and absolutely crazy? WHY
push your advice on someone that you know is going to piss them off
unless you want to piss them off? Why do I NEED to listen to other
people’s opinions? I have been in therapy for four months to learn how
to NOT worry about the opinions of others.
Now this mind fuck of her fearing my daughter will run away. WHAT?
My daughter still sucks her fingers and has a blankie. And she is going
to run away so far that I never see her again? What the hell kind of
fear and manipulation tactic is that? We live in the middle of
nowhere. Oh, let me guess. She will hitchhike to Mexico because I
don’t let her hang out with gypsies. Come the fuck on!
I know what this is. This is my mom wanting me to fear those
boundaries I put up. She is wanting me to question what I am doing so I
can let her weasel her opinions and control back into my life.
Moms out there, what do you think about this?